I struggle. Not Curaçaoan, Not Dutch

Illustration on paper, 20mm ink drip marker on A4. A continuation of the ‘Wall of Masks’ series, this time with a focus on belonging. 

The masks represent my struggle with belonging, finding my place in a culture that is not mine and does not accept me as I am. But when I am home in the place where I am supposed to belong, I don't fit in. I feel and am treated like a foreigner when I am there, as I handle/deal with the everyday in a Dutch way. Navigating two places and two cultures I can’t claim as my own. So I struggle: Insecurities kick in, my wall goes up and I adapt to the different expectations.